MY WEDDING

Pemberitahuan 1: Ini bukan bermaksud saya sudah nikah ataupun pernah nikah.

Pemberitahuan 2: Ini juga bukan notis iklan tarikh pernikahan saya. Ini sekadar tajuk post sahaja. Tajuk pun kenalah catchy ye tak? kalau tak nanti siapa nak baca pulak :P

Mungkin biasa lah agaknya pemuda2 baya saya mula berfikir dan bercakap mengenai perkahwinan. Apatah lagi bila semakin ramai rakan2 melangkah kaki menuju ke dunia baru. Dunia yang lebih indah :P Tapi ianya berbeza kalau sekadar angan2 tanpa niat untuk disusuli dangan plan tindakan. Sekadar mimpi kosong di siang hari.

Sebetulnya ini adalah kesimpulan kepada perancangan saya untuk majlis kahwin saya (note:belum pun tahu bila.hehe) bila saya berborak dgn ibu saya tentang bagaimana saya nak majlis akad nikah dan resepsi perkahwinan saya diadakan. Perbincangan ini mengubah persepsi saya tentang hidup saya.

Saya: Nanti saya nak buat majlis kahwin jauh dari adat Melayu lah. Adat Melayu dah banyak mengarut sangat.

Ibu: What do you mean by that? Break it down for me.

Saya: Tak nak ada pelamin dan tepung tawar. Buang duit, buang masa dan menepung tawar tu kan upacara Hindu.

Ibu: OK. Macam mana nak explain kat Granny yang tu?

Saya: Err.. Nantilah fikir.

Saya: Tak nak ada hantaran kahwin jugaklah nanti.

Ibu: Kenapa pula?

Saya: Bukan adat agama pun. Sekadar adat Melayu yang macam nak menunjuk2 je pun.. Membazir je..

Ibu: Yang itu ibu tak setuju. Apa salahnya bagi hadiah? Kan sunnah nabi tu.. Nanti keluarga isteri pun fikir apa pula..

Saya: Hmm.. Betul juga.. Takpe, KIV dulu lah.. Kalau ada duit banyak bolehlah. hehe.

Ibu: Nanti Ibu pula yang kena marah dengan Nana dan Granny sebab ajar benda tak betul (pada pandangan mereka).

Saya: Nanti majlis resepsi kahwin nak buat sekali je lah.

Ibu: Macam mana tu? Takkan 10 kali pulak..

Saya: Bukan.. Maksudnya sekalikan je lah kenduri belah lelaki dan perempuan. buat setempat je.

Ibu: Kenapa?

Saya: Jimat masa, jimat duit, jimat tenaga. huhu. Lagipun, buat macam tu baru betul boleh mempersaudarakan dan mengeratkan silaturrahim.. Dua2 keluarga pun boleh turun dan saling membantu untuk jayakan satu majlis.

Ibu: Yang tu bergantung lah.. Kalau semua setuju bolehlah.. Kalau dua2 pun kampung jauh2 macam mana?

Saya: Kita buat kat tengah2 lah :P Lagipun letih lah buat dua kali.. Tak minat la..

Ibu: Kita buat kenduri tu sebenarnya untuk diri kita ke kerana meraikan orang lain?

Saya: Err.. raikan orang lain kot?

Saya: Kenduri kahwin nanti tak payah lah buat bising2 grand sangat.. Biasa2 je sudah lah. Kita buat makan2 je lah.. Benda2 bombastik berarak kompang gendang silat semua tu tak payah lah.. leceh la.. Tak best pun.. Tak ada dalam Syiar pun..

Ibu: Memang betul tak ada dalam ajaran Islam, tapi adat tu tak menyalahi syariat pun kan.. One thing that you have to remember is that it's not all about you. Nana mungkin tak kisah sangat. Anak cucu dia ramai dah kahwin, cicit pun dah ada. Tapi you cucu sulung Granny dan Grandaddy. Lagi2 kalau yang pertama sekali kahwin. Kena lah juga ambil kira pandangan mereka. Mereka pun nak kena entertain kawan2 mereka juga..

Saya: Hmm... Ala.. Siapa sebenarnya yang nak kahwin ni...

**Dialog sebenar telah diolah supaya lebih mesra pembaca :) hehe

After all those discussions, I came to a conclusive decission.

Eventhough the solemnization ceremony and wedding reception is my wedding, it's not going to be all about me. It's also about my family - I should consider my Nana, Granny and Grandaddy, my aunts and uncles, jiran tetangga dan semua kenalan. Eventhough sometimes we feel that we need and we want something which we believe is the best for us, it might not be the best for everyone else. So what do we do? We look for middle grounds where we can tolerate each other.

After all, they are the ones that are going to be happy for me.

As for my wedding reception, I think this is how it is going to be. First, I have to go to my grandparents and ask for their opinion on how it is going to be. However, I will be strict on things that are clearly against the Islamic laws. I will try my best to emphasize and explain the importance of following the Syariah and Sunnah. At the same time, it is my utmost priority to do my best to fulfill my grandparents' wishes.

Secondly, I think that I'll just have my reception at my house. The significance is that, in this modern era of living, people don't actually have the time to get to know their neighbours as being more engaged in work and other things. So I would like to help provide the opportunity for my neighbours to get together and know each other eventhough I prefer better my wedding reception to be held at some hall elsewhere. Knowing and caring for neighbours is a Muslim's responsibility right?

Yang selebihnya bergantung lah kepada Ibu Abah untuk tentukan. They are the ones that I really have to consider and they are the ones that I care most for. I'm gonna have to put more thoughts on the other details with reference to them. My future wife has to feel the same about her parents and my parents as well. This after all is the recipe for a blessed and blissful marriage.

Adat bangsa yang tidak menyalahi agama tidak ada salahnya untuk kita amalkan. Bahkan Islam tidak datang untuk menyanggahi adat satu2 bangsa. Islam hanya menetapkan garis panduan dalam amal kita. Selagi mana adat itu tidak bersalahan dengan Syariat, maka dipersilakanlah untuk terus berpegang dengannya. Kepada sesiapa yang tidak suka dengan satu2 adat itu, tiada kesalahan baginya untuk meninggalkan. Tapi sentiasalah fikirkan kepentingan orang lain melebihi kepentingan dan kehendak diri sendiri. We are Muslims and we care for other people.

Kepada rakan2 satu batch, kepada senior setahun masa sekolah rendah dahulu, dan kepada kenalan2 lain yg sudah dan baru mendirikan rumahtangga, moga mendapat Mawaddah dan Rahmah yang telah Allah janjikan kepada anda yang memenuhi tuntutan fitrah mengikut saluran syariat [ArRum : 21]. Tahniah kerana telah berjaya menyempurnakan Half Our Deen. Moga bahagia dan berkekalan. I pray for you and know that I am very happy for all of you. Now pray for me to join club some time soon! :D

DRINK DRUNK DRUNKARD

Below is a dialog between me and a friend named Syafiq Musa. He copied a Facebook conversation and sent it to me as a message and asked my oppinion. I hope my oppinion is worth sharing and if I did any mistakes in answering the given question, don't hesitate to correct me.

I try to give my answer as simple as possible since it was intended to answer the non-muslim who was wondering and also to cater to those with less knowledge in Islamic studies. Also, I have done sedikit penambah baikan kepada jawapan asal, terima kasih kepada Ust Syed Syahmi (do visit his blog by clicking on his name).

::SYAFIQ MUSA::

aku amek petikan ni dr fesbuk friend aku bro..tp aku xreti nak jwb la..

K** U****u A****n:
interesting...alcohol in 'arak' that is expose to high heat will dissipate, either u use it during cooking or baking, and it has prove through science, and many even learn it during science subject in secondary school..but 'tapai' which clearly is fermented and have alchohol is 'halal' ?????
2 hours ago · Like ·
F** Y* likes this.

A****a Ma: really? it's halal?
2 hours ago · Like

M***e M***m: Tu tapai pulut and tapai ubi. Halal. Errr so?? What is the answer?
2 hours ago · Like

K** U****u A****n: thts the thing..tapai boleh makan, bt when there is cooking (in high heat) and baking (also high heat) tht add 'arak', which dissipate the alchohol and only leave the original substance takleh cos ada arak..errrr... either people are becoming ignorance or just plain stupid. the reason of even add it in cooking is to dissipate all the alcohol and only wants its base substrances, such as if wine its the fruity taste.
2 hours ago · Like

D****l L**w ***g C**e: rum and raisin halal?
about an hour ago · Like

M***e M***m: Rum not halal
about an hour ago · Like

A****a Ma: but it's non-halal rite? alcohol is alcohol rite? Beer kan also fermented? so is it halal?
about an hour ago · Like

M***e M***m: Tapai tidak memabukan maka ia nya tak haram. Air tapai haram sebab memabukan.
about an hour ago · Like

L***a P****a: rum and raisin depends, kalau Baskin Robbins diorang hanya guna rum extract, it's from plant and non-alcoholic, so it's halal...
about an hour ago · Like

M***e M***m: Swensen nya tak bole.
52 minutes ago · Like

S****a R****n: Oh goshness. If it makes you drunk. Dont eat it. If it doesnt. Its fine. God just doesnt want us to get drunk and do stupid things. Like kill someone driving. Or beat up your wife. At least thats wot its like in my world.
42 minutes ago · Like · 3 people

F** Y*: to keep it simple ...... according to malaysian muslim understanding .... alcohol is not 'halal' to be ingested as it will make you 'high'. So:
1) after cooking or high heat the alcohol in the food is evaporated and therefore no more alcohol...
See More
25 minutes ago · Like · 1 person

::AHMAD ZUBAIR SB::

fuhh~ this is a tough question to answer bro.and it needs a lengthy discussion.he who is asking is a muslim or not?

nevertheless,my answer based on little knowledge i have;

Bismillah.Rabbana ishrah lana suduurana,wa yassir lana umuurana,wahlul 'uqdatan min alsinatina yafqahu aqwaalana..

*****

first,a friendly suggestion,if you really need the base ingredients of an alcoholic beverage for cooking,why don't you get the subsequent ingredients alternatively.you can get the ingredients separately.for example,if you want to make milk tea,you can get the tea leaves,milk and sugar,and mix it together with hot water.you can avoid using instant 3in1 milk tea.in this case,wine rum etc is the instant tea.if you want fruity taste,get the fruit juice,sugar etc without alcohol.

arak,even if you use a small amount of it and the alcohol dissipates,it is still haram.this is because arak is haram in Islam,so whether you drink it causes you to get drunk or not if taken,it is still haram,even you can't smell it or taste it.consider this example,a drop of chlorine spills into your glass of milk,you will still throw it away even if you don't smell it and can't taste it right?it's considered spoiled.the same concept applies,the arak is still there even without it's alcohol.

Islam did not say alcohol is haram,but islam says arak is haram.whether it makes you drunk or not,or you consume it in very small amount that would not make you drunk,arak is still haram. In context of the Quranic verse, the actual translation of "khamar" is "segala jenis minuman yg memabukkan" (rujuk AlBaqarah:219). So segala minuman yang ada potensi menyebabkan mabuk adalah HARAM.

if you learn chemistry,fruits even have alcohol.ester,which gives the pleasant smell to fruits is a derivative of alcohol.so,the essence of this is that,it is not the alcohol that should be the topic of discussion.but,whether the substances you use or consume make you drunk or not.consider this,hudson's menthol candy,is not haram to eat because the alcohol is weakened and will never get you drunk even you eat tonnes of it.

the thing that needs to be understood is that,it is not alcohol is haram because it causes people to get drunk.but,the drink itself is haram because it makes you drunk.which is,if the alcohol makes you drunk,then it is haram.if another alcohol doesn't make you drunk,then it is halal.any other drinks,if it does not even contain alcohol,but makes you drunk,it is haram.

same concept with drugs,some drugs cure you and some drugs get you high.the ones that cure you are noble,while the other is prohibited.basically,both are drugs.alcohol that makes you drunk is haram,alcohol that doesn't is permitted.a bit redundant here.but i think i made my point.

secondly,going back to tapai,even it contains alcohol,it doesn't make you drunk.there's never a case in which people ate a lot of tapai and got drunk.if that happens,then it will be haram.aborigines in sarawak have arak made of beras.since it is memabukkan,so it is haram.tapai's process of making is similar to arak beras,however tapai does not make you drunk.if you ferment it a bit longer,it will become arak and makes you drunk.and then it will be haram.if you consider this,arak and tapai is of different stages and gives different outcomes.so it is not the same.


i may have put up answers which might be wrong and misleading.please do correct me if it is so.

*****

I hope this is worth sharing.

I also would like to apologize for not posting on this blog for so0 long.. Anyways thank you for visiting and following even though there had been no progress here for about almost a year.